Down, Down, Down
by Annie Mikk
Summary: He's already lost his heart anyway. Seifer/Quistis.
1. silent night

**Notes:** Don't own Seifer, Quistis, _or_ Dollet. The chapter titles are Lisa Hannigan's lyrics, and the line "Try lying for a change. It's the currency of the world" is from my favorite movie, _Closer_. That is all.

**-**

**i. silent night**

-

"Quistis," he pleads, grabbing her wrist. "Please, stop."

There they were, in an empty Dollet alley, where the café chatter has long settled to a silence and the only soundtrack to their reunion was the occasional drops of rain on the cobblestone, the streetlights..her cheek. How fitting.

She sighs, defeated, and turns toward the face she's long tried to forget (unsuccessfully.) It's strange, actually seeing him. Touching him. Without the fear of waking up.

"Hello, Instructor."

His old line sends a familiar spark, one she tries to ignore.

A little distant, a little cold. _And whose fault is that?_

"Seifer," she replies. Flat. Still a little cold. She acts as if this isn't something she's been hoping for, his presence, his voice, any part of him that wasn't the empty room he left behind. He doesn't need to know how much she longed for him all this time.


	2. broken night

**ii. broken night**

-

Seeing her was a trap, he knew that, but it didn't stop him from following her through the streets until she would finally listen.

It's hard to leave an angel twice; hell, it was almost impossible the first time. Pack up and go. Don't look back. Just..leave.

Funny, he's in the exact situation he tried to avoid the first time. (Funny, it's all his fault.) Then again, all of this is. His fault that he had to leave, his fault that he fucked over the only important person in his life, his fault that she's so broken and vulnerable now.

"What?" A demand. Sharp. Tough. She's trying, but he could always see through the bullshit.

Good question. What did he hope to accomplish with this little reunion? So far he's done nothing but reopen wounds that took hell of a long time to close.

What words _were_ there to be exchanged?

I hate you I miss you I love you.

_I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry._


	3. all is fallen

**iii. all is fallen**

-

She doesn't know what she's waiting for. An apology? An excuse, a plea to take him back? Highly unlikely. And quite frankly, she isn't sure if she's ready to listen (be disappointed.)

"I don't know why you dragged me into this, Seifer. If you have nothing to say, I'm not wasting my time."

He's losing her. He can't—

"Quistis," he whispers, hands on her cheeks, surprised she isn't pushing him away.

She's a little surprised herself.

He pulls her closer. It's a little like old times, he can feel her breath, her body, her heartbeat. He's holding her again. She's so close, so close, _it's so hard to hold her. _He wants this, her, he wants to lean down and kiss her, but if he does it's game over, and he will never leave.


	4. when you take your flight

**iv. when you take your flight**

-

This, his embrace, his comfort, she had longed for this for so long. This moment.

_Don't end please, please, never ever end._

But she was no princess, he was no knight, and they had no "happily ever afters."

She knew this. It was only a matter of time until he pulled away. "Why?" Then. Now.

It's always the same.

_She'll be better off without him_. She doesn't need someone as tainted as he is, _she's a fucking angel._

"I have better things going, Quistis." It's easier to lie. It's always been.

"You're lying."

She looks so vulnerable and so beautiful, it's so hard to leave. But he has to. Now, or he'll never. He _has to_. She'll be grateful..hopefully sooner than later.

One last look to take forever.

"You should try it, Instructor. It's the currency of the world."

He turns and marches away, each step so heavy, each breath like his heart's disappearing.

He's already lost it, anyway.

But, he tells himself, it's better this way. For her.

_It has to be._

It has to be, because it's the only reason he isn't with her telling her she meant the world then, and she still does now. How the last seven months have been completely numb, and the only time he felt alive was tonight.

Only she'll never know, because she's too busy hoping her tears blend with the rain as she watches him walk away (forever.)


End file.
